The Conundrum of Success

Before you read any further, answer this question in your head or write it down somewhere…How do you define success?

Defining success is one of those tricky things in life that seems obvious on the surface but as you go deeper, it has this mysterious tendency of becoming less obvious, more esoteric, and even capricious  Merriam-Webster defines success as “a favorable or desired outcome; also: the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence.”  

Here are some of my favorite quotes on success:

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”  – Winston Churchill

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Picasso 

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.” – Vince Lombardi  

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.” – Abraham Lincoln 

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

I highlight these quotes on success because of the vast range of perceptions from some of our greatest historical thinkers, and how they don’t necessarily correlate with the dictionary’s definition of success.  And if you ask a random smattering of people how they define success you’ll probably get answers like “financial freedom, have kids and a family, get married, buy a house, have a great career or prestigious job title or thriving business, drive a nice car, giving back to our parents, provide for my family, etc.”  

I have repeatedly revised my own definition of success as my life has progressed, but much time has elapsed since I’ve asked myself for the answer. Earlier this week I was playing a game with a close friend in which you pull a card and are prompted with intimate questions to ask of each other, and one of them took us down the rabbit hole of defining success.  Then I voraciously burned through Matthew McConaughey’s newish book, ‘Greenlights’ this week and he prompted the questions “How am I prosperous?”, “What is my relevance?”, “What is success to me?”, “What is your hill?”.  I had a conversation with a family member about doing a “life review” and thinking about purpose, meaning, and success.  I have been feeling a bit lost, meandering again, and craving more significant, deeper, exciting challenges that push me to the brink and force me to evolve.  Then I opened my computer today and the first thing I saw was a quote from Jim Rohn, “Your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development.”  And so I felt called to dig deeper into these questions and thoughts to see if anything auspicious and novel may percolate.  

How will you define success?  Can you be intentional in tying your success to your core values?  What are your core values?  What makes you you? Some further context from ‘Greenlights’ that resonated with me: “…define it for yourself. Even our cultural values have been financialized. Humility is not en vogue anymore, it’s too passive.  The question we need to ask ourselves is what is success to us? Your answer may change over time and that’s fine, but don’t choose anything that jeopardizes your soul.  Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.  Don’t drink the Kool-Aid–sweet today but gives you cavities tomorrow.  Life is not a popularity contest.  Be brave.  Take the hill.” 

This has engendered a lot more questions than answers for me in this moment.  The best questions tend to create the most uncertainty.  Success doesn’t happen in a straight line.  It’s an amorphous, living, breathing part of life that can be exciting, scary, disappointing, or joyful when contemplated with intention. It’s a mind-expanding question to ruminate on and despite having more questions, it has simultaneously instilled renewed clarity for me.  I suspect redefining our own meanings of success can be an augur, a manifestation of sorts for our futures.  In a speech at the Maharishi Foundation in 2014 Jim Carrey said, “As far as I can tell, it’s about letting the universe know what you want, while letting go of how it comes to pass.  Your job is not to figure out how it’s gonna happen.  Just open the door in your head and when it opens in real life, just walk through it.  And don’t worry if you miss your cue because there’s always doors opening.” Defining success more audaciously and including aspects that may be imperceptible today, but attainable tomorrow has been my path.  

So I ask you to do the same and share this with others in your life if it precipitates any meaningful insights.  If you want to get more of what you want in life, this might be a great place to start.  What does your success look like, and how does it feel?