Stoicism – A Guide to a Good Life

BY: WILLIAM B. IRVINE

In one line: A great starter for anyone looking to gain a better understanding of Stoicism and looking for simple ways to start to integrate Stoic practices into your life.

In one more line: One of my favorite principles–If we lack a philosophy for life, we may spend our life pursuing goals that are unimportant; be tolerant of being overlooked.

In one last line: Philosophies of life tell us the things that are and aren’t worth pursuing, and how to gain the things that are worth pursuing; for Stoics that thing is tranquility which is a state in which we minimize experience of negative emotions like anxiety, fear, depression and maximize an abundance of positive emotions, especially joy.

• Prioritize goals in life and know which ones you’d sacrifice everything for

• Terminology – Hedonism — maximizing pleasure #AmericanCulture

• Pursue and maintain tranquility — lack of anger anxiety fear

• The nature of the universe is transitory

• Instead of wanting more, learn to want the things you already have and be content with your life

• The things we desire are not worth pursuing

• Plato and Antisthenes were disciples of Socrates — society changes the focus of philosophical inquiry — focus on human condition, life morality, and good/evil discovery of man’s soul

Stoicism is a practical recipe for happiness.

• Virtue is to live in accordance with nature

• Seneca on God — he tests him, hardens him, and fits him for his own service

Things we once dreamed of having we often take for granted, like our spouse or partner, so we need a technique for creating a desire for the things we already have; the easiest way to gain happiness is to want the things we already have

• TRY THIS – “Negative visualization technique” — in meditation, envision losing the things you already have and take for granted

• TRY THIS – Envisioning and contemplating your death can make you much more greatly appreciate your life (‘Memento Mori’)

• Contemplation is different than worrying

• If you’re gonna worry about things, worry about things you have control over since you can impact the outcome

• TRY THIS – MEDITATION – Stoics have a very active mind during meditation, contemplating the days activities, did someone interrupt my tranquility? Did I get angry, why? Etc. — we should ask if we’re being governed by our reason or are we being governed by the actions of other people; use Stoicism as a tool to judge our progress

• Other people are the source of much of our suffering in life

Chapter 10 — Social Life :

• How to preserve tranquility when dealing with other people

• Befriend people who you can learn from and who are doing a better job than you in living according to their values

• Avoid people who complain, they are a foe to tranquility

• Be selective about what social events you attend

• When you’re in a social situation where people are talking about inappropriate things or other people, be silent or try to subtle change subject

• Spend time with people who share similar moral values, who you can learn from and who are practicing better than you

• Spending time around people who have vices will eventually become your vices — “to spend time around someone who is unclean, you yourself will eventually become unclean.” — Seneca

• Before judging people for their faults or getting annoyed by them, we should pause and reflect on our own shortcomings

• Marcus Aurelius — ‘Social Fatalism’ — people are born annoying (or fated to have certain traits) so to think that you will be able to live without dealing with annoying or bad people is unrealistic, rather you should prepare yourself every day on how to handle dealing with them

• When you are annoyed, there are probably also people who are annoyed by you

• Our annoyance will almost definitely have a worse impact on you than whatever it is they’re doing

• Don’t think about what other people are thinking unless you must do so for a common goal

• Some people can’t help being annoying; “if you’re shocked to see a boar behave boarishly it is no fault but our own.”

• When someone annoys you remind yourself that “there is more to life endured but a moment.” – Marcus Aurelius — social fatalism in cosmic context that we will soon be dead so a reminder of the triviality of being annoyed

We should avoid hatred and judgment towards others because it will be injurious to us and our values; One of the best forms of revenge is to refuse to be like someone.

• Marcus Aurelius + Buddhist Analytical Method — to simplify or reduce temptation to indulge, analyze the parts that make something up vs what it actually is (IE: wine is fermented smashed grapes; a purple wool jacket is slaughtered sheep skin, two people having sex is friction between the members culminating with an ejaculatory release)

Chapter 11 — Insults:

• If someone insults you, determine whether or not they are informed — they may just be uninformed

• Or determine their credibility to you — if it is a coach you hired to help you make better than that’s what you hired them to do, however if it is someone who’s opinion you wouldn’t otherwise value anyway, then ignore it

• If a contemptible person insults you, you should be relieved because it’s confirmation whatever you’re doing is correct

• “People who insult you are overgrown children.” — Seneca

• People who insult you deserve more pity than your anger

• Stoics are indifferent to insults

• If you can convince yourself that those who insult you carry no harm and you can only hurt yourself, their insults will carry no sting

• What upsets people is not things but their judgments of these things

• Respond to insults with humor and laugh them off vs a counter insult; you can respond by pointing out that the insulted is not very good by pointing out these obvious insults

• The alternative is to not respond at all and just be silent or pretend like nothing was said at all; this shows you do not have time for their childish behavior

Chapter -12 — Grieving:

• TRY THIS – ‘Retrospective Negative Visualization’ — instead of grieving about what you lost, be thankful having ever had that person in your life to begin with (ie if someone dies)

• Remember that whoever you are grieving about likely wouldn’t want you grieving so much or for long and suffering in life

Chapter 13 — Anger:

• People should be punished not out of what they have done but for their own good

• The stoic fear with anger is not that good can’t come from it but that once it is turned on we can’t control it or turn it off

• Seneca recommends pretending to be angry to motivate others

If we are overly sensitive or coddle ourselves we will be more susceptible to anger

• The things that get us angry rarely hurt us and are usually just annoyances so getting upset over them does not make sense

• Try to use laughter to diffuse anger

• Marcus Aurelius recommends contemplating the impermanence of the universe when getting angry, it’s “cosmic insignificance”
• – Remind yourself that your angry behavior also angers other people
• Buddhists practice thinking the opposite though when thinking a bad thought since two opposite thoughts can’t exist in your mind at the same time
• Anger is an emotional reflex
• A person who is constantly angry will be a torment to others; why not be joyful to be around

Chapter 14 — Fame & Social Status:

• To seek out social status is to give others power over you

You should disregard people’s approval just as much as their disapproval.

• Fame comes at a very high cost that costs you to give up your freedom and control since you are now seeking others approval

• Marcus & Epictetus believe it is foolish to concern yourself with what others think about you, rather spend your time and energy on things you have control over
• Marcus says “fame is an empty, hollow thing. How foolish is it to wish for people to remember us after we are dead. We should rather make the best of today.”
• To win the admiration of others we have to adopt their values which is why should consider the values people adopt when seeking their approval
• By showing indifference to other people’s opinions, you may ultimately end up gaining their approval because they will admire how you are self confident and are not concerned w others

Wealth:

• The danger in pursuing a life of luxury is we may lose the ability to appreciate simple thing; we become harder too please and take pride in only being able to enjoy the best
• We need to find enjoyment in primitive life
• Musonius Rufus followed Socrates and Xeno philosophy that we should eat to love vs. live to eat; they didn’t eat meat because of this hazard
• If you want to make someone unhappy shower them in wealth
• Not wanting more wealth is priority over having more
• Luxury is not a natural desire and uses itself to promote vices and want things that are not essential so it can’t be satisfied vs natural desires like water can be satisfied and don’t interfere w our happiness
• Moral values are far more important than luxury
• “He who knows contentment is rich.” -Lao Tzu
• It is okay to have wealth as long as you do not cling to it — be its master, not its slave

Chapter 16 — Exile and Banishment:

• Important stoic principles include virtue and place in nature; the mind is rich
• Being exiled is not a bad thing if you don’t allow your virtue and principles to be taken from you

Chapter 17 — Old Age:

• We take our days for granted when we are young because we think we will live forever — rather than adopting this attitude, note that every day you wake up is cause for celebration
• Primary principle – meet life’s challenges with tranquility
• Primary principle — refuse to worry about things out of their control

Chapter 18 — Dying:

• Having a coherent philosophy in life will allow us to be set free from death

• Many people fear death because they fear they have mislived

Chapter 19 — Becoming a Stoic:

• If we lack a philosophy for life we may spend our life pursuing goals that are unimportant;

• Be tolerant of being overlooked
• We may not be able to make good decisions if we don’t have a philosophy for life
• People mock others who have a philosophy of life because that may reflect different values from theirs
• Anger, grief, disappointment, and anxiety will be drastically reduced and delight in the world around us will increase without the need for material objects
• Learn how to enjoy things without becoming entitled or attached to them

Chapter 20 — the decline of Stoicism:

• “A man is as wretched as he convinces himself he is.” — Seneca
• People may be able to affect how and whether or not you live but they cannot change whether you enjoy it or not, that is only up to you

Chapter 21 — Practical Principles for Modern Day Stoicism Practice:

• Philosophies of life tell us the things that are and aren’t worth pursuing, and how to gain the things that are worth pursuing; for Stoics that thing is tranquility which is a state in which we minimize experience of negative emotions like anxiety, fear, depression and maximize an abundance of positive emotions, especially joy
• Be a keen observer of society and see how people’s tranquility gets disrupted and how to get back to it / maintain it as much as possible
• Become self-aware, observe ourselves and reflect on how we responded to the days events
• Use reasoning ability to overcome negative emotions and master our desires (convince ourselves that fame and fortune aren’t worthy having)
• If we become wealthy even despite no pursuit of fortune, enjoy the wealth (it was the cynics not stoics who advocated asceticism); and although we enjoy it, don’t attach to it and contemplate its loss
• Form and maintain relations with others who share similar values
• Avoid people who’s values are corrupt because they can corrupt our own
• Humans unhappiness attributed mainly to insatiability and worrying about things out of our control
• For insatiability, use negative visualization and contemplate the loss and impermanence of all things to better appreciate and stop forming other desires; Seneca says to practice poverty
• Triage for life: things we have complete control over, things we have some control over and things we have no control over so don’t bother over things you don’t have control over (ie your goal in golf shouldn’t be to win but to play your best because you have some control but not complete)
• Stoics believe Zeus created us and made us different from animals because we have reason and gave us the ability to make life endurable and enjoyable if we used the pattern of living in accordance w nature and reason
• Evolution caused us not to deal with fears, anxieties, negative emotions, pleasure but to survive and reproduce; evolutionary processes are indifferent to whether or not we flourish rather are contingent on survival and reproduction; recognizing how evolution has impacted our psychological makeup makes us realize that the reason we feel pain is because we evolved to avoid an injury and pain and hence those who were better at avoiding pain made bigger contributions to evolution; we’ve inherited the ability to experience pain, fear, anxiety and insatiability through evolution; ancestors who worried about where their next meal was coming from, how they were gonna survive, and a desire for more food, a better shelter and life, were more likely to survive; we inherited the ability to feel pleasure because of the reproductive role in evolution; we are gregarious because those who found groups to bond with were more likely to survive and reproduce; those who pursued social status because the “alpha male” was most likely to survive vs he at the bottom of the ranks less likely to survive and hence we find it pleasurable to pursue status and painful to not have status, pleasurable to get compliments painful to be insulted; we gained the ability to reason to become better at pursuing all of the above, all of which is evolutionary inheritance
• Our reasoning ability gives us the chance to avoid suffering
• If our goal transcends the evolutionary history of survival and reproduction, social status, etc but rather enjoy tranquility (or something else) for example, pain from social status is irrelevant because that’s not part of our goal; misuse our intellect and reasoning to override the evolutionary processes

Evolution has programmed us to want certain things and experience certain emotions under certain circumstances; this programming results in many people living miserable lives today.

• Stoicism is a cure for the disease of negative emotions of anxiety grief and fear because it’s a philosophy designed to overcome these things
• Stoicism is a set of psychological techniques that help us achieve tranquility and overcome negative emotions and also appreciate our lives and experience joy
• Buddhism and stoicism are not made of stone but rather made of clay, they are malleable
• When seeking a philosophy of life you should select one that aligns with your personality and circumstances
• Most people spend their lives on evolutionary auto-pilot seeking the short term rewards and pleasure it has to offer and avoiding pain and insults wherever possible

Chapter 22 — Practicing Stoicism:

• Keep it a secret so you don’t have to deal with judgment from others
• Practice negative visualization to appreciate the things we have; do both in times that are good and bad
• Practice Trichotomy of control
• Practice internalizing you’re goals (ie: preparing for a match to do your best vs winning the match)
• Psychological fatalist about the past and present, don’t engage in if only if statements, embrace the present
• Seek opportunities to put stoic practices to work
• Practice stoic responses to insults (like self depreciating humor)
• Anger is like a mosquito bite — it feels good to scratch and bad to leave it
• Live as if we are poor
• Do things to cause ourselves voluntary discomfort
• Simplify your lifestyle
• Don’t seek consumer goods or feed desires; they will likely lead you to be less happy in the long run and desire feeds desire
• The main goal of Stoicism is to seek tranquility