Principles

Ray Dalio, the Founder of the worlds largest Hedge Fund, Bridgewater, inspired me about two years ago to start cultivating my own set of guiding principles which govern my life. I also want to acknowledge Tim Ferriss, Naval Ravikant & Jim Collins as three of many people who have provided a backdrop and foundation for many of these principles. These are in no particular order of priority or importance. They are enumerated in chronological order from the earliest date I started keeping track. This is a fun exercise and is incredible to revisit, especially in periods of difficult decision-making, emotional despair, or deep contemplation. I believe that having a clear set of core values and principles that you aim to follow closely but not obsessively, is critical to a meaningful life.

When a personal/business relationship is toxic, have the uncomfortable conversation and move on immediately
The more I know, the less I know
When in doubt, be a minimalist
Material possessions complicate life more often than enhance your life
Take on projects based on the skills and relationships you will develop because you always win in the long run even if the project fails
During times of trauma or loss (death, divorce, relational, etc.), avoid seeking of distractions or vices like drinking, partying, sex, or whatever you like — this will provide a short term release of dopamine but lead to stress, guilt, anxiety, questioning of decision making and discomfort
You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with
Water is the life giving spirit, mother of all
Don’t hit send, you can never unsay something you send in email (QUOTE: “When we react we forfeit our personal, god-given power to think, feel and behave in our best interests. We allow others to determine when we will be happy; when we will be peaceful; when we will be upset; and what we will say, do, think and feel.”)
Eliminate “SHOULDS” from your vocabulary
Be careful who you invite to be a house guest
Don’t make commitments too far into the future since you may not know how you’re feeling when the day arrives
Be patient and understanding with other people’s shortcomings, just like you would like them to be of yours — everyone does not have the same strengths as you
Listen more than you speak.
All humans are flawed beings, reserve your judgment for one more moment.
Learn to love yourself in an altruistic way—many would never be friends with someone who treats then the way they treat themselves
To change yourself, change your thoughts — metacognition
Don’t concern yourself with what other people are thinking in daily life
don’t make assumptions about how one may feel or respond to a situation
Develop a clear philosophy of life that includes a set of moral principles, values and virtues that you subscribe to and mental models for how you operate
Make the one decision that removes 1,000 decisions
Explore your blind spots before committing to a new project
The quality of a decision can not be assessed by the outcome
Acknowledge the role of luck in your success
Look to learn from those who offend you vs rationalize, dismiss and devalue
Maybes are often procrastinated no’s
If you want to be good at something, do it every day
The system is the solution
Forgive and forget
Give the people you love and trust the benefit of the doubt
Spend time with your elders; on average 95% of it is gone after 18
Always do (not try) your best
You win the lottery each day you wake up
Just love; always be loving; show yourself loving kindness
Experience is what you got when you didn’t get what you were hoping for
Know when to say, “this is another one of these”
Read every day
Growth happens in the valleys, not at the peaks
Money doesn’t give you happiness, it gives you choices
Being aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is far more useful than being aware of a thousand in someone else
Adversity doesn’t build character it reveals character
Self flagellation never leads to long term change. Self compassion is what creates long term change.
Our fear of our feelings are often scarier than the feelings themselves.
No matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely with a single thought or act of love
It takes mindfulness to come to a human life; it takes mindfulness and virtue to come to a fortunate human life.
Be accountable for your actions
Connect to your heart center as many times per day as you can; your heart is stronger than everything else you have access to
When you tell the truth, even when it’s scary, life works out
Experiment with restraint
You don’t have to articulate every one of your observations
The perfect is the enemy of the good
Keep your head even when you’re losing your shirt
Events are objective. Our opinions make them positive or negative.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin
“We suffer more in our minds then in reality.” – Seneca the younger
Invest in yourself, in learning, in experiences over material goods
Embrace your emotions
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” – Mark Twain
“What’s bad for the bee is bad for the hive.” — Marcus Aurelius
Puppies — don’t get one without extensive knowledge of all moving parts; long-term commitments = be very careful; don’t ever underestimate the responsibility and time required to care for another living thing
When someone is explaining a problem, their emotions, feelings, etc. actively listen and respond with questions and deeper inquiry vs. justifying, solutions or giving answers
Success doesn’t happen in a straight line
Don’t give the small things more time than they deserve
Chop wood, carry water.
Heuristic processing — make decisions using rules learned over time
You can always rebuild and become the next you
Feelings aren’t facts
Own your story
Release control
Believe in yourself no matter what
Your gut is your 2nd nervous system, don’t do things unless it’s giving you a full body yes
Solving problems starts with acknowledging that there is one
The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life
Anger is a tool, not a master
The need to win, drains us of power (Chinese sage Tranxu on archers)
The best questions tend to create the most uncertainty
Behavioral change begins with perceptual change
You don’t take the armor off yourself or your heart for another person, but for yourself
We need understanding before validation
Those who know do not say; those who say do not know.
Want what you already have.
You find peace through acceptance, not understanding
Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are
Thriving in an unknowable future—the best plan is the one that lets you change your plans
Lack of time = lack of priorities
Treat life like a series of experiments
Pain + resistance = suffering
Leave places you visit better/cleaner/nicer than when you got there
You can only love others to the degree with which you love yourself
The most important relationship in life is with yourself
Laughter is an antidote
You only need to prove yourself to yourself
You are okay just the way you are, be gentle
Take responsibility for your feelings and needs; don’t say “you make me feel”
Give yourself permission to love and to tremble
You don’t need to give an explanation when you say “No”; you don’t owe anyone anything
Have radically transparent friendships; eliminate surface level relationships
Change happens very slowly and then all at once
Win the respect of those you respect and forget the rest
On work, put things out into the world that you would want to consume or deliver how and what you’d like to receive
On learning, ignore facts and figures; focus on what the characters can teach you about life and moral lessons (Seneca)
Fool me once shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.
You can have a fond memory of an event from the past that at the time was painful.
Everything you learn requires contemplation and practice to feel natural and automatic
We can’t prevent our loved ones from experiencing pain and discomfort and “learning the lessons” from their choices and its not our responsibility
Just because something has potential negative consequences doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Engage in self-examination daily and apply a critical lens to your own BS
Healthy relationships (friends, family, romantic) are effortless; you are free to be yourself without judgment and vice versa, there are no facades or shows
Seek ownership in a business that allows you to optimize for Independence and freedom; make money with your mind not your time; pursue your curiosity and work when you want to
Don’t continuously upgrade your life as you make more money
Be cautious of unconsciously taking on new desires
If you want to avoid conflict, avoid confrontational people
Compound interest applies to everything in life
Read what you love until you love to read
In business, play long term games with long term people
Most self help books boil down to thinking long term
Your pervasive anxiety and problems come from living an unexamined life
Get rich quick schemes are just other people getting rich off you
The purpose of money and wealth is freedom
You will have to win a lot and lose a lot before you can be calm, self aware and truly think long term
Seek understanding, not information
If you’re the smartest person in the room, go to a different room
Only use comparing yourself to others as a way to bring yourself back to reality
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain
Money buys happiness when you spend it on others
Never let your ambition confuse you about what you really are
Things never get easier when you keep doing your best, you just keep getting better
If you’re not having fun stop doing it
Never let go of unwavering faith that things will work out
Don’t assume people are bad to protect yourself; give people the benefit of the doubt and assume good until they prove otherwise
Life is about what works for you. Business is secondary. You can have all the money in the world but if you don’t have strong relationships or not doing what makes you happy when you’re not at work, what’s the point?
Always have an exit strategy / contingency plan
If it’s not a hell yes it’s a no
The first step to forgiving yourself is to forgive others
Measure success in relation to how it feels for you, not in comparison to others
Everybody just wants to be loved, accepted; nobody wants to suffer
If you wouldn’t work with someone for a lifetime, don’t work with them for 5 minutes
In all things — except love — start with the exit strategy. Prepare for the ending. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
Being wise means having more questions than answers.
Compliment people behind their back. It’ll come back to you
Your best response to an insult is “You’re probably right.” Often they are.
If you can avoid seeking approval of others, your power is limitless.
When a child asks an endless string of “why?” questions, the smartest reply is, “I don’t know, what do you think?”
To be wealthy, accumulate all those things that money can’t buy.
Show me your calendar and I will tell you your priorities. Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you where you’re going
Your passion in life should fit you exactly; but your purpose in life should exceed you. Work for something much larger than yourself.
Ignore what others may be thinking of you, because they aren’t.
Avoid hitting the snooze button. That’s just training you to oversleep
Don’t treat people as bad as they are. Treat them as good as you are.
You can reduce the annoyance of someone’s stupid belief by increasing your understanding of why they believe it.
Your work will be endless, but your time is finite. You cannot limit the work so you must limit your time. Hours are the only thing you can manage.
Every person you meet knows an amazing lot about something you know virtually nothing about. Your job is to discover what it is, and it won’t be obvious
History teaches us that in 100 years from now some of the assumptions you believed will turn out to be wrong. A good question to ask yourself today is “What might I be wrong about?
Desire can never be satisfied—that’s what makes it so compelling
Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.
Death is life’s single best invention; it clears out the old making way for the new
Don’t be contrarian just to be contrarian; be clear on what’s driving your beliefs
Beware of those closest to you (and yourself) creating echo chambers; when in doubt, flag it, and bring it back to the idea lab
The opportunity cost of your time should increase every year
Grief is the price we pay for love
If you’re rushing through something, you’re either pressuring yourself for no reason or pursuing something too ephemeral to begin with
Life is to short to live in a place that you are not enamored with; if you find yourself often longing for vacation, its time to consider creating the reality you don’t want to escape
Character is fate – don’t expect differently of people who’ve already shown you who they are
Its very expensive to be cheap; if you don’t spend your money to make your life, relationships, or work easier, what are you going to spend it on?
When you have nothing to lose you have everything to gain
There is no efficiency in doing things that shouldn’t be done in the first place
The best advice is often your own

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