Burning Man & Beyond

I believe it nearly impossible to articulate the experience that is the Burn. It’s ontological. Unimaginable. Breath-taking. I’m using this as a tool for integration into my life versus an attempt to try and share the experience…

“The real trouble with this world of ours is not that it is an unreasonable world, nor even that it is a reasonable one…It looks just a little more mathematical and regular than it is; its exactitude is obvious, but its inexactitude is hidden; its wildness lies in wait.” – G.K. Chesterton

I love this quote for so many reasons, but especially in context of Burning Man. I am not sure there are many other places on Earth where you can experience the hidden inexactitude of our world and its wildness in such purity. A place where tens of thousands of humans voluntarily coalesce into the harsh elements–strong winds, unrelenting dust storms, and loooong 100-degree+ days of scorching sun ablaze with nowhere to hide.

I am very fortunate to have this moment in the wilderness to try and unravel the mystery, awe, and wonder of the last three weeks. I feel the wildness awaken deep in my roots as I jot these words. The first thing I notice after spending almost a month away is how much shorter the days are. I feel more wildness as I taste the smell of Fall on the horizon, triggering a sort of synesthetic state, as I stare out at a full blood moon and the big dipper, a cool breeze massaging my soul, and the oak trees and shrubbery dance around me. I take a deep breath and ponder deeply how I wasn’t even supposed to be here—rather in Mexico City, and instead ended up in the desert camping with a bunch of new friends from Mexico City–the perfect memento that I’m exactly where I need to be. That there are no coincidences.

We truly never know what this vortex has in store for us. And so it goes, as the thoughts and reflections continue to swirl in my brain, ephemeral, churning like a dust devil, with some of it destined to fall onto this page, etched into the digital realm of 1’s and 0’s, and the rest into the ethereal for another day…   

1. Forgiveness is not for others, its to help us obtain peace, let go, and move forward; a doorway to and, an act of freedom

Forgiveness may assist someone in releasing a burden or guilt they’ve been carrying, but the real benefit is to the eye of the beholder. When we choose to forgive, we get to release the anger, resentment, pain, and all the body armor it led us to shackle up with, by embodying true forgiveness. By showing up with unconditional love, letting go, and moving forward, we reclaim ourselves.

With that, I want to share one of my experiences at the Temple (see below for visual). The Power of the Temple at the burn is unlike any other sacred place I have ever ventured to in my life. I spent a couple hours contemplating forgiveness for my father before finally releasing the offerings I had brought for my sister and me. After, I took a seat in silence in the center of the Temple with ~ 20-30 others. A beautiful young woman with soft eyes and a nice smile was next to me, at first crying when I sat down and dropped into a meditation/prayer. When I came out of it, she seemed to be sleeping. I’m not quite sure how much time passed since the desert has a way of eviscerating all concepts of “time” and only a few have a phone or watch readily available, but it was at least a couple hours start to finish. I focused on releasing the residual anger and resentment towards my father. Anyway, we both stood up at the exact same time and as she stood up, she fumbled a bunch of index cards…I started helping her pick them up and gave her a handful, only to see one line which read “Dad, I forgive you.”

And I realize I can’t capture the power of this moment on this page, but this is one of those impossibilities where the universe winks at you, reminding you its always paying attention when we tune in. I still get the chills thinking about it. I share this as a reminder to keep a close eye on all the magnificent synchronicities that kiss us like a butterfly each day when we’re truly present to our surroundings.

• Refreshed sense of faith in humanity—unbridled ingenuity reminding me that the only thing getting in the way of our greatest imagination is ourselves

After seeing people in some of the nastiest of desert conditions building everything from steam rooms on wheels and some of the most incredible art I’ve ever seen in my life to optical illusions and full-on movie theatres, I am reminded of the resilience and industrious nature of our species. I regain a sense of optimism for our future. That although this world feels quite hopeless at times, we always get the choice to redirect where we focus our attention. Where attention goes, energy flows.

• Listening > Speaking; Great Questions > Right Answers

The more curious we get about others, the more we get to learn and expand in each interaction. Each human has unlimited depth to tap into. Here are some of the great questions I found floating around the playa:

• What’s one thing you love about yourself that most people don’t know or wouldn’t guess?
• What’s your favorite campfire memory?
• What’s one skill or ability you wish you had that you don’t and why?
• What advice would you give your 25- or 30-year-old self?
• What scares you most about the future and how is that holding you back in your life?
• What parts of yourself have you not tapped into yet?
• What are the most defining parts of your past in who you are today?
• If you had a time machine, where would you go?
• What does love mean to you?

• Music can help us tap into parts of our heart and emotional states that are otherwise unreachable

I had a number of heavy emotional conversations and moments over the last few weeks but was feeling shut down. I could feel the tears just beneath the surface, but my body wouldn’t release them. In a separate visit to the Temple, I moved this block by tuning into some music I shared with a past partner as I parted ways with old love letters, totems, and offerings to honor her with love and gratitude for all the incredible memories we created together.

Music seems to have a portal into our souls that can help us time travel to different places of space and time that aren’t otherwise accessible—hence the unravelling of a great catharsis. The next time you’re feeling shutdown or apathetic, consider channeling the sounds of your heart.

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love, with no place to go.” – Jamie Anderson

• Communities & tribes will re-emerge with more pervasiveness in the future

The trappings of individualism have had a militant hedonic conquest of Western Society since the Industrial Revolution, but that seems less pragmatic with every passing day. Life is much easier when we’re part of a village. It’s more sustainable. Possibilities are endless when everyone collaborates and has an opportunity to share their gifts. And perhaps most importantly, the reminder that we’re not meant to be on this journey alone and there is profound joy and love to be had in fostering community with each other.

• We don’t know people as well as we think we do, even those we’re closest to—societies boxes, labels, masks, and programming are restricting people from living their fullest expression

Couldn’t help but wonder how many people are floating through life with the script of fear and judgment dictating their day-to-day. Who would you be if there were no boundaries? The Playa is one of the few places I’ve seen that fosters a true sense of openness and acceptance while also maintaining clear guidelines for order and respect.  Run a search of the ‘Foam Dome’ if you don’t believe me. The Burn is not beautiful because it creates a place for sex, drugs, and partying. It’s beautiful because it creates an boundless playground to choose your own adventure and explore the infinite possibilities that this world has to offer. For some that’s partying and for others, it’s intellectual stimulation, learning new skills, running ultra marathons, or the opportunity to connect deeply with people from all over the world without the barriers of status, power, or money. In each moment, it became abundantly apparent to me that we rarely get to see under the mask, the true being of even those we love the most. What would your life look like if you shed all of it and let go of the expectations?

• Hyper-presence doesn’t leave room for stress and anxiety

Einstein said, “I never think about the future – it comes soon enough.”  This always stuck with me. I can’t recall a period in my life in which I was so present in each moment that everything else faded away. I imagine this is how I felt as a kid pre-cell phone. I wasn’t anxious about the future or depressed about the past. I wasn’t worried about the price of bitcoin, the Fed, the stock market, the war in Ukraine, the uncertainty of finding a life partner, my Nana’s health, my business, none of it. Time & distraction evaporated. There was only right now with the people I was with in the experience I was having.

And while it’s not practical to think we can eliminate our ubiquitous connectivity to the digital realm, I think it’s worth experimenting with extended periods of digital detox and see not just how it makes you feel mentally/emotionally, but also what it does for your body. My resting heart rate and HRV have reached peak levels, I’ve let go of things I’ve been holding onto for months, and I have more mental and emotional clarity than I’ve had in years. I’m excited to experiment with new ways of living in the now and minimizing distraction when I’m back in “the real world”, perhaps channeling one of the greats…“Give yourself a gift,” Marcus Aurelius wrote, “the present moment.“

• Don’t be reckless with people’s hearts; don’t put up with others who are reckless with yours

Thematically, this feels like the perfect place to wrap up and consecrate an inflection point of new beginnings. I’ve carried a heavy heart since mid-May and naturally, this was a meaningful part of my experience. I was more reckless with someone’s heart than I ever intended or desired to be earlier this year and was reciprocated with that treatment in exchange…let this be a reminder to always treat each other with compassion and unconditional love, irrespective of circumstances. Turn my lesson into your blessing.

This is an excerpt from Yung Pueblo’s ‘Clarity & Connection’ that encapsulates much of what I walked away with…

‘…you start seeing how the past is packed into your mind and heart – patience, honesty, and observation start the healing process. With time, intention, and good healing practices, the past loses its power over your life.

You continue the process – stepping in, feeling, understanding, and letting go. And then you start noticing the results; you are not the same anymore. Your mind feels lighter and develops a new, sharper clarity. You start arriving into your life and relationships ready for deeper connection.’

‘find a partner who accepts you as you are but also inspires you to evolve because they take their own growth seriously. Love will not seek to change you. It will embrace you so unconditionally that you will feel safe enough to heal the old and put effort into the new. The courage you both have to stay committed to the inner journey will reflect brightly on your relationship.’

This has helped me realize that the abandonment script from the past was still been dictating my life in subtle ways I was unaware of. In the ‘Twelve Steps for Adult Children’ it is described like this: “the intense fear of losing our partner is really our Inner Child reliving the fear of being unloved or unwanted by our family.” It leads to anxiety when losing someone or being left behind. People suffering from abandonment disorder tend to stay secluded and alone. They believe that if they are not close to others, they won’t get hurt or anxious when someone leaves. This reaffirms my inclinations to “disappear” or take extended periods off the grid away from society, especially during periods of personal challenge or loss. Fortunately, when I shine a light on my darkness, I get the opportunity to befriend it with gratitude, thank it for its presence, and put it in the back seat so I can move forward.

The real failure would be no heartbreak. Never being underwhelmed by results because I didn’t try. No setbacks. Life’s disappointing experiences are ephemeral discomfort in exchange for the lessons I need to get the answers. I endure the pain and chaos in exchange for the map to navigate what’s ahead. How can these experiences be a failure if they put me exactly where I need to be? If they bring me closer to what I want in life? I often stay stationary because I’m waiting for the right moment or for things to be perfect. Perfectionism is a spawn of fear and the illusion of control. ‘Fortis Fortuna’. On the heels of difficulty, often comes ease. I’m more attuned to myself, my mission, and what’s next than I have been in as long as I can remember.

So, keep on keepin’ on. One foot in front of the other, keep going. Open yourself to new experiences. Indulge your fears. It will unearth a new sense of vitality and aliveness connecting you to your soul. And on your journey, treat your heart and others’ with delicacy and sensitivity. Unconditional love is the answer. Joy and fulfillment awaits…